just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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