Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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