Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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