my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Dick very happy bro
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
