38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
