I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
