I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
