she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
how drunk are you?
Several
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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