Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
