I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
