I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize