dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i think im in europe. pls send help
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
