Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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