Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
