Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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