no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
