This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
These tits shall not be calmed
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
