Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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