I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
