WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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