fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
