Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
