I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
