he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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