so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
