i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think i peed on brittanys purse
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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