Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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