All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
