Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
