we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
