Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Panties = found
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
