I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
they're like a gay fantastic four
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
