Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
