so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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