honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
