we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
