the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
