my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
