he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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