I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
