I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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