Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
