I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We are all done wearing pants today
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
