Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
