If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
