Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
