Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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