I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
