I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
