I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You brought string cheese to the strip club
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
