So drunk its hurt
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
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